#heizou crack
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zephestia · 1 year ago
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BE MINE
a shikanoin heizou smau
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shikanoin heizou; the top student of teyvat university's criminology major, a member of the student body organization, and the drummer of an infamous band called "6reeze" is head over heels for you—a burnt out chemical engineering major who's socially awkward.
pairing: shikanoin heizou x fem!reader
genre: university au. smau. fluff. crack. light angst.
tropes: nerd x jock(?). strangers to lovers. pining.
status: JUNE 04, 2023 — on going.
taglist: closed.
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PROFILES:
overworked bunch
the rizzlers
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
ch. 1 — chaotic energy
ch. 2 — a new discovery
ch. 3 — 24 hours & 7 minutes
ch. 4 — not very bros before hoes
ch. 5 — play cupid
ch. 6 — imagine that
ch. 7 — bet
ch. 8 — tba
ch. 9 — tba
ch. 10 — tba
...to be continued
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note: very and i mean very VERY self indulgent. inconsistent update. idk man i just wanna write something about heizou.
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dorothy-rainbird · 7 months ago
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There is a strictly unspoken rule in the Tenryou commission.
"Do not, under any circumstances, let Shikanoin Heizou watch the movie "Ace Ventura: Pet detective"
And that rule is there for a good reason.
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kalliyen · 2 years ago
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Seatmate Sweetness
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Pairing: 4nemo Boys x GN!Reader (seperate)
Featuring: Venti, Xiao, Heizou, Kazuha, Wanderer
Genre: Fluff, Crack, teasing?? is that a genre idk, school au, modern au
Summary: Seatmates who have a sweet secret crush on you ;)
Reader’s Pronouns: Not specified
Warning: this is gonna be shit cause i haven’t written i so long bye 😘 🤾‍♀️
Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!
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♯ Venti !
Venti as a seatmate would be….interesting to say the least
he’s that kid who’s always late even if he lives literally just across the school
he also has this tendency to sleep in class, when he finds the topic boring
which is, every topic in every subject
but when your homeroom adviser changed the seating arrangements and you were assigned to sit next to him, he started changing
he noticed that you were a very precise person. always at class on time very smart responsible the whole smart kid shebang yk
and when YOU were assigned to seat beside him, you were dreading it. great, now someone was just going to get in the way of your studies.
a few weeks go bye and venti is still the same as ever, slacking off, sleeping in class, and one day he even drooled a bit on your paper, which finally made you snap
luckily there wasn’t any teacher in class at the moment to witness you snapping
let’s just say his cheek was red for the whole day, and not in a good way.
he told his friends about it, which they said he deserved, which made him seethe even more
at night he thought about it, how you would focus in class, how your hair would cover you face when you double checking your notes
you looked adorable while doing it, he thought. now his face got even more red, now this time out of embarrassment
how could he realize he liked you after you slapped him infront of the class? was it a kink or something?
the next day, you apologize to him, which he didn’t even notice or listen to you for that matter, focused on your lips rather than what was coming out of it.
“venti? hello? are you listening?” you say waving your hand around his face
“i know how you can make it up to me y/n” venti starts, “really? what is it?” you say confused, tilting your head to the side
“we could go on a date together!” now both of your cheeks were a rosy pink
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♯ Xiao
now xiao here was the silent smart type as we all know, while you were the giddy type who couldn’t seem to stay in your seat
he didn’t really mind it to be honest, you rarely talked to each other. but there was an understanding that you both respected each other’s space.
when your history teacher, mr. zhongli, assigned you together for an assignment, you didn’t really mind. xiao was smart and hot, from what you could tell he was also somewhat kind in his own peculiar way
you worked on it together for the rest of the period, and xiao couldn’t help but notice his heart beating even faster than it did before. it always beated quickly when you were around, which made him feel confuse inside.
after class, he asked his father figure mr. zhongli (wow who would’ve thought i did this)
“i don’t know sir, whenever im near them my heart beats 10 miles an hour, i don’t know if this is a good or bad feeling sir, perhaps whenever im close to them i might meet my demise? is this a sign that something bad will happen if i go near them? should i stay away from them? but i don’t want to stay away from them, their very kind and sweet, albeit sometimes loud, and sometimes i-“
zhongli cuts off xiao before he can utter another word, zhongli comes to the conclusion that his son was very down bad for you.
“it seems that you have developed romantic feelings for y/n. and might i add xiao, i do approve of this liking towards them, they are a very caring and sweet person indeed. this is merely a suggestion, but why don’t you tell them how they make you feel? the school festival is about to commence soon, that would be a good opportunity wouldn’t it?”
xiao thought about it for a minute, yes it was a good idea. but how will he ask you?
zhongli suggests to ask you by word, or if xiao is too nervous then by letter, xiao decides on the latter part.
he goes home that day, on his desk, pen in hand and staring at the paper.
he has so much to say and at the same time, nothing at all. he wants to tell you everything and nothing at the same time. is this what love feels like?
finally after what felt like hours, he’s finished his letter to you, making sure it looks presentable, because you only deserve the best.
he makes sure to wake up extra early the next morning, and make it to school before you do
he places the letter on your desk, and waits for you, anxiously replaying all the possibilities in his head
lucky for him, the outcome he was expecting most, came to fruition
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♯ Heizou
heizou here is the diligent yet flirty president of your class. while you were quiet and kept mostly to yourself, choosing to draw in your sketchbook rather than converse with anyone.
it’s not like you didn’t have friends, you just didn’t like talking much.
since you sit on the front beside heizou, your often bombarded with the amount of paper he has piled on his desk because of yhe obscene homeworks the teachers assign you.
it kinda bothers you a bit when you barely have any room to put your things on your side of the desk but you don’t say anything, because every morning heizou sits at his side of the desk you can see his baggy eyes and unkempt hair which makes him 10x more attractive in your opinion. but he didn’t need to know that
during another one of his stress sessions you seem him struggling with a particular project in a subject you were quite good at.
but of course heizou didn’t have any balls to ask anyone for help, having the mindset of “because i am the president, i shan’t let anyone see any weakness.” (which was total bullshit btw)
you meekly tapped his shoulder which made his face bolt directly to you, way closer than he was intending
you offer your help, saying he clearly needed it and at this point heizou doesn’t have the energy to decline, so he listens to you explain the assignment in full detail, taking note how your eyes seems to glint in the sunlight and how your soft hands brushed his slightly calloused ones
he may or may not go to you when there’s an assignment on purpose, even if he fully understands the concept.
he thinks it’s a win win, he can spend more time with you and complete his tasks
(even if he’s just staring at you 99% of the time)
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♯ Kazuha
let’s be real this boy is rarely in school
but when he is at school, he’s just sleeping most of the time
when the teachers try to corner him with a question when they catch him dozing off, he manages to answer them correctly
they ignore him after that LMAOOOOO
but when you, transfer to his school in the middle of the year and get assigned next to him, he starts to take a liking to you
you’d make notes for him in class while he sleeps, thinking he had a rough night before, which he finds really nice and so adorable
of course in return, he helps you with concepts you don’t understand or if you’re having trouble understanding japanese
he doesn’t know how he ended up in this situation but right now your in his home, speaking to his moms and having dinner with them
it’s not like he didn’t like that you were at his home, quite the opposite frankly but it turns out that his mothers find out about his little crush on you
all evening his mothers have been indirectly teasing him, even going as far as almost revealing his crush on you
after dinner was finally over, he takes you to his room (his moms gave him teasing winks that made his face all red) and showed you all the memorabilia he’s acquired from his adventures with his moms
you found them so amazing, and when you look back at him he’s stepping forward to you which makes you freeze in place, despite feeling a quick warmth on your lips
your at his house even more often after that event ;)
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♯ Wanderer
absolutely HATES GOING TO SCHOOL
but is one of the top students 🤷‍♂️
his aunt makes him go saying that learning is an essential part at life
“auntie that’s bs i don’t-“ he gets slapped in the face
goes to school cause he didn’t wanna get spanked in the face again LMAOOAOAOA
as his deskmate he actually really really likes you, even more than a deskmate actually
but boy has no way to tell you
sometimes he sees that you have nothing to eat for lunch so he gives you his “extra” saying that he doesn’t want you to faint in class, making him take you to the nurse’s office
nahida always wonders why her nephew stays up so late to make food for 2 people, but she doesn’t push the subject further
you thought it was really sweet of him, and his cooking was amazing! why would people say that he’s mean and an arrogant bastard? (he is tho just not to you lol)
you wanna repay him with something, so you decide to make some brownies for him, not knowing he despises sweets
you stay up all night, wanting to make them as perfect as the food he gives you
you pack it in a cute lil bento with a lil thank you note sticked to it and get to bad, excited of what his reaction will be to the pastry you’ve made him
the next do you can clearly see the disinterest in his face when he sees your brownies (he thinks he’s hiding it well he’s really not) which makes you feel really bad
“do you not like them? i can make something else for you, i just wanted to return the favor since you always give me your extra lunch, i’m sorry if this isn’t what you like”
his face goes IMMEDIATELY red with embarrassment, mostly at himself because of how a dumbass he is 💀
“i didn’t mean it with i’ll intent y/n, it’s just that i’m not really fond of sweets, but i would like to try one” he responds an idea popping into his head
“really? what is it? i’ll make it for you! to make up for these ones you don’t like, just give me the recipe and-“ you get cut off by him hooking his fingers under your chin
“you”
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a/n: bye this is so cringe if my friends see this they will never let me live this down
if your my friend irl PLEASE RESPECTFULLY STFU 😂😂😂
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ukiyoq34 · 1 month ago
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texts with genshin gang
I’m not doing that whole text pic thing cus I’m lazy but I wanted to do this cus man some people make these guys get so out of character when it comes to this typa stuff
synopsis; asking them for the homework/copy their homework / reader has no pronouns or any specific gender/ can be seen either platonic or romantic whatever you feel like/ paring Xiao, scara, Kazuha, heizou, Tartaglia, and Lyney
-Scara/wanderer
“Bro I need your help”
*read*
“??? bro help”
*read*
“answer i know ur ass is there”
“tf you want now”
“I need help with hw”
“no”
“boy 💀”
*read*
-Heizou
“bro can you help me real quick?”
“sure”
“i didn’t do the homework I need help”
“u sure you need help or do you just wanna copy?”
“is copy and option”
“nah😂”
“Js Help me dawg 😭🙏”
“Lmao get on call and I’ll help you”
“thanks dawg 😘”
“smh wish that kiss was real😒”
“GET OUT!!🤬🗣️”
-Xiao
“Xiao”
“yeah”
“can I copy your homework please🙏🙏🙏”
“I’ll help you but I won’t let you copy”
“WHY?? PLEASE BRO I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT 😭😭”
“you have a lot of time I know you do”
“😒😒😒”
“it’s easy dw”
“do I get a kiss if I finish it”
“No??”
“just say you want me dead💔💔”
“😐”
-Childe/Tartaglia
“bro can you send me the hw”
“girl.. WHAT??”
“WDYM WHAT?? DID U NOT DO IT?? 😭”
“I HAD PRACTICE IM THE LAST PERSON YOUSHOULD BE ASKING 😭😭”
“oh my GOD”
“girl don’t give me that attitude 😒😒”
“who is this DIVA”
-Kazuha
“Kazuhakazuhakauzhakauhzhshajakuh”
“yes??”
“did you do the homework”
“yes I did”
“can I PLEASE PLEASE copy your work”
“did you procrastinate it again?”
“yes😓😓”
“alright but try not to make this a habit okay?”
“I know I’m sorry 😢😢 but thanks 🙏🙏🙏🙏”
“Np👍”
-Lyney
“Lyneyyyyyyyyy yayyayag”
“Yeah??”
“Did you do the r homework???”
“yes I did do you need to copy”
“YES 😭🙏”
“here 😘😘”
*attatchment 4 images* “You’re a real one THANK YOU🙏🙏”
“Love you too 😘🤑”
“Love the confidence you have!! Keep it up!”
“☹️”
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huboi · 11 months ago
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poly baby
[scara, heizou + kazu x ftm! reader]
╰┈➤ includes; mentions of periods, slightly suggestive content, reader is referred to as bbg once, mentions of smoking w**d, mentions of alcohol, mentions of s*x
╰┈➤ decided to make this cause y not? btw if it’s not clear reader is in a poly relationship with scara, kazuha and heizou
╰┈➤ this content is rated 16+ for the suggestive themes, if I see you interacting with this post and you have no age or gender in your bio you will be blocked
╰┈➤ FEM ALIGNED DNFI!!!
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he’s a streamer, don’t ask why or how ik, I just know that he’s a streamer
has so many simps (as he should), they don’t give a fuck that he degrades tf outta them, they live for that shit
usually plays rpg games, sometimes plays horror games now and again
when he’s feeling generous, he will stream you and your other boyfriends cooking/baking
if u don’t want to show ur face then dw he’s making extra sure that your face is hidden from the cameras view
sometimes when he’s streaming you will randomly pop up in his room. as soon as chat sees you, they just start spamming stuff like ‘OMG ITS HIS BOYFIE’, ‘HE’S SO BBYGIRL’ etc.
scara ignores his chat obviously, and asks you y ur bothering him. 9/10 times you’re just there cause u want cuddles. sometimes ur there to give him food since he sometimes forgets to eat when he’s streaming for so long, ur his malewife what can he say?
when ur on ur period he’ll try his best to not be so angy cause he knows ur extra sensitive during this time, if he’s feeling generous he buys u sum food/chocolate etc.
want cuddles? beg/hj, he’ll tease tf outta u cause y not
scara and kazu are like ying and yang in a way, scara is pretty much the opposite of kazu. when scara is feeling up to it, he will hold kazuhas hand at random times
scara and heizou both banter 24/7, don’t worry tho usually if they get too fired up they just take it out on each other by aggressively making out. yes u have walked in on them a few times, but decided to leave them to it or just ignore them whilst u just go about ur business
scara does not give u any nicknames, he just doesn’t rlly like nicknames, he’ll just refer to u as ur name cause he prefers that, he refuses to be all mushy and lovey dovey. dw tho sometimes he does cave in to that kind of affection, but only indoors
defo not into pda, furthest he’ll do with any of u guys is hand holding, and that’s it.
one time scara ended the stream because he wanted sum loving, turns out the stream was still on, safe to say that his chat has never forgotten about it, they always find a way to bring it up. what was the loving u ask? he just wanted u to sit on his lap whilst he gives u kisses whilst calling u his pretty boy <33
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heizou is like the 2nd goofiest goober (no.1 position goes to scara sorry pookie bear😭)
I feel like he’s defo a pierced, idk I just get the vibes that he pierces people for a living
he has a nose piercing, both ears pierced and nipple piercings
likes to annoy scara when he’s streaming, like he’ll just open the door and stand there like 🧍
he loves you so much, like-
one time he came home when it was pouring down, as soon as he came through the door hr just beelined straight towards you (yes, you got very wet) heizou recommended that you two could shower together (safe to say kazuha and scara heard everything)
heizou and kazuha get along very well, most likely since they’ve known each other through tomo for a while
speaking of, sometimes tomo visits the house so that he and kazuha, sometimes along with heizou, like to smoke that zaza
don’t worry, they do it responsibly
heizou is low-key lightweight, wether it be zaza or alcohol, he gets affected very quickly compared to the others
the 2nd best when it comes to comforting you on your period, he mainly is best for buying you snacks/chocolate or whatever you’re craving
so whilst kazuha comforts you, heizou races to the shop to buy as much stuff as quickly as he possibly can before you end up fist fighting scara for being a pice of shit with you knowing damn well you’re dealing with shark week
heizou loves PDA, like yes sir
he can’t keep his hands off of any of you, mainly you tho
he and scara argue a lot but it’s not like bad arguments, it’s like rlly petty ones yk?
“YOU KISSED Y/N EVEN THOUGH TODAY ONLY I CAN KISS Y/N!” “IDFC!” *aggressive make out intensifies*
heizou hogs the blanket when you guys are sleeping too 😭
like you will all just be sleeping and all of a sudden yoink
yes you have to hit him awake with the pillow cause my man can sleep through a whole ass earthquake istg
I feel like heizou is very good at make outs, sos I don’t make the rules, he does
he just gives me those vibes you know
heizou is like a puppy sometimes, like you’ll be cooking ( let him cook ) and all of a sudden you’ll get jumpscared by a shirtless in boxers heizou hugging you from behind
the amount of times he nearly gave you a fucking heart attack 📈
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KAZUHA
he’s the most chill out of all 4 of you guys
he’s also high a lot, but it doesn’t affect him as much as it does with heizou and scramouche
he’s also a streamer, mainly cause scara introduced him to streaming
his fans love him, like low key yandere/hj
his fans love everything about him; his looks, his aesthetic, the fact he’s high a lot, his voice (can u blame them?)
yes, he and scara stream together sometimes
in the chat so many people gush about how cute they act at times, cause when scara isn’t being a lil’ shit he’s actually kinda nice and can be shy surprisingly
yes kazu does have piercings; ears, nose, tongue and di-
kazuha is quite affectionate but not extremely so like heizou, it’s just more casual
kazuha is extremely open to hugs and kisses whenever and wherever, so he’s ok with PDA
you want a hug in the supermarket? ok
want a kiss on the cheek on the bus? ok
want his d at home in the privacy of your room? ok
yeah kazu isn’t very kinky, he’s more vanilla, sometimes he’s kinky but rarely, only when he gets jealous ( which is truly a sight to behold )
kazu is a switch, it depends on who he’s with; if it’s with all 3 of you, switch. If only one other person is with him, he likes to top ( he’s a soft dom )
prepare for sooooo many cat videos from him, no matter what time of day at some point each and every day he will send each of you at least 5 cat videos
yes he technically has a cat but no, his friend tomo, who happens to be his ex, actually owns his cat (they got the cat when they were together so technically it’s both of theirs)
dw, tomo and kazu broke up just cause they didn’t have feelings for each other anymore like that, so they’re still very good friends
sometimes the boys get jealous and so after tomo comes around and seems a bit too close for their liking, well let’s just say you hear a lot of banging noises upstairs
are you jealous? no. mainly cause you have talked to tomo and it’s pretty obvious they’re just besties, they just sit very close together since they enjoy the closeness of each other if that makes sense
when sleeping, kazuha is strangely still, like scarily so
sometimes it seems as if he’s not even breathing so you get a big fright but he’ll suddenly let out a huge sight in his sleep, which calms you down
he’s actually a light sleeper believe it or not, he just falls asleep quite easily, he just sleeps deeply too
but the slightest of noises can just get him right up, wide awake as if he wasn’t sleeping in the first place
when it comes to dates, he usually takes whoever he’s taking with him on a nice walk in order to enjoy nature in general
he doesn’t really like fancy stuff unless if it’s an important day/anniversary eg. your birthday
he’s an amazing listener, like if you wanna talk to him about how you’re feeling, or just rant about your hyperfixations, he’ll just sit there and listen, nodding now and again to show he’s listening and not just staring off into space
scara and kazu get along fairly well, despite scaras opposite personality
sometimes he does have to put scara in his place if he’s being bratty in public or in front of guests etc. 😳
yes kazu is a brat tamer too, mainly only with scara and heizou since they can get a bit out of hand at times
if you’re a brat then…. prepare yourself
dont worry about the aftercare (wether it be a vanilla session or a tough session) he’s the best at aftercare, he will get you all the drinks and snack you need, he also helps you into the bath and helps wash up
when you’re on your period he mainly helps by soothing you with his voice but also cuddles and kisses
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content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER
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plsdonttakemyname · 1 year ago
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Midnight texts, or should i say early in the morning...
Characters: Scaramouche / Wanderer, Heizou, Kazuha , Childe
Modern Au ! Genshin men x reader
Childe Version
Heizou Version
Kazuha Version
A/n my request box is always open so you can request anytime, sorry for inactivity, I still write for bsd but I mostly am going to post more genshin stuff 😭
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SCARAMOUCHE
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sserapic · 2 years ago
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UNHINGED TEXTS 🤟🤟
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note. i rebloged another post similar to this one, i just dont know where it went but im sure i did reblog it 😭 okay anyway, the next part of the smau series is coming !! ❤️
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saigawrites · 1 year ago
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My dear gelatin orb pet,
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Seelie! Genshin x Platonic! Gn! Reader
Inazuma edition | part 1 part 3
Tags : crack, fluff, scenarios, headcanons
Warninigs : mentions of stalking, animal attack
Summary : you took home a strange creature that looked nothing like anything in your world. So you somehow try to live and be friends with the peculiar pet of yours.
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A strange flying orb is now basking in your presence, observing you attentively. Uneasiness filled your entire being as you were stared down at, so you attempted to break the suffocating atmosphere by talking to the orbit. Minutes pass, and there is no reaction whatsoever, until the little thing flies off somewhere, only to return with a torn off paper sheet and a pencil in their tiny nubs.
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Heizou ♥︎
"Hey~! I am Heizou, the great detective of Inazuma! It sure was a dream of mine to one day meet someone as odd as you! I hope we can get along with each other, even with our different physical traits. I was wondering, could I please make a psychological study with you? I want to know if there's any more oddities about you, especially your mind!"
Okay, why is this period blood blob trying to attempt psychological experiments with you now? You just met, and he's already looking through your soul 🧐.
You might suck at geography but you never heard anything about the so called 'Inazuma'. Wait, so he's an alien?
That theory have already explained why he was so interested in your psychology, and honestly, you were kind of scared of him after the realization.
But it was still hard to feel threatened by an dark red floating circle with a little bouncing antenna. Maybe he used that to communicate with his species?
You weren't familiar with the behavior of different creatures from another planets, but you discovered that these one seemed to be extra clingy.
He floats after you everywhere, always watching with the most attentive gaze, looking out for any type of quirks you might have. You became all the more aware of him, secretly staring at him with your peripheral vision so that he couldn't try anything funny🤨.
He would startle you a lot, annoying you and scaring you on purpose. He LOVES your reactions, whether it would be you losing your temper and tossing him around like a basketball, or you screaming at the top of your lungs when you feel something slimy wiggle under your shirt.
You're lucky that he doesn't do that all the time. Surprisingly, the cherry colored orb has his own business to do, which is just as strange as his appearance. He likes to go out, watch and stalk random people on the street. You found out when you caught him red-handed in the act, hiding behind a bush and looking at all the people passing by.
You tried to scold him, tell him that it's dangerous to go around for him like that, but to no avail, he would always nod in confirmation and then do the same thing on the next day.
So you decided to find him a hobby, something that would distract him long enough from harassing strangers on the streets. And that is, television. News channels in particular.
It was completely accidental when you found out about his interest. You were extra bored, and decided to finally watch the TV in like a decade. Soon you found your crimson red companion levitating in the hall, glancing at the TV and back to you a few times before flying to your side and nuzzling in your lap, making himself comfortable in your warm hoodie. Petting his tiny body, you both took in the situations happening all around the world.
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Arataki Itto ♡
"HEY THERE!!! IM THE FAMOUS ARATAKI ITTO!! THE LEDER OF THE ARATAKI GANG!!! ITS NICE TO MEET YOU!!! WHATS YOUR NAME? LETS BE FRIENDS!! YOU LOOK SO COOL!!!! DO YOU WANT TO JOIN MY GANG?"
Woah, that's one... energetic light bulb. Bouncing on your office table cheerily while his long vertical horns wobble a bit, he squeaks excitedly as if he just found out he won a lottery. Well, he kinda did though, if you're the one to take care of him.
At least that's what he thinks, as your demonstration of desiring to bathe him from all the dirt and dust he somehow gathered gave him all the right signals.
Even if he splashed and spilled all the water onto you, and wiggled and squeaked under the turned on faucet like an over-energized parrot, still, you would rub his soapy circular body with care, patting him with the softest towel of yours that he was sure you were the fittest blob-parent of all.
Did I mention parrots? He is one. An even more chaotic one. You have to hold him with your most strong grasp from him speeding across your house like a flash, bouncing off walls, ceiling and the floor like a deflated balloon. You always have to scold him like a concerned parent about how his form is not exactly unbreakable, and he still needs to be careful with surroundings.
And that escalated into him finding your bed as the best trampoline he can access. You want to stop him and tell him that he's going to break the carcass if he continues, but you just can't resist the sight of a palm sized jelly ball jumping on your bed gleefully, ridiculously rotating in the air as he lets happy sounds escape his nonexistent vocal cords.
Sometimes you would curse the universe for making your circle companion this cute, because he sure can cause a lot of trouble. Almost getting mauled by the neighbors dog because he wanted to pet it two days ago and almost breaking all of your glass dishes because he wanted to help you make the table yesterday. Oh boy, I'm sure excited for what's in store for the future😀.
Though, it was what you should've expected from a supposed gang leader. He even invited you to be a member of this band of his, remember?
You do agree now with all those shoujo mangas where the gangsta would actually be a softie inside, because your glowing orange ball friend sure is, no matter how destructive he acts.
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Yae miko ♥︎
"My, my... such a interesting creature you are! It is sure a blessing for me to be in your presence, another amusing humanoid~. I am the Guuji of the Grand Narukami shrine, Yae Miko. I am also the owner of the Yae publishing house. As a grandee of the kitsune clan, it is a pleasure of mine to be familiar with such a high being like you. I am in your care from now on, my dear~"
WHAT IS THIS LIGHT PINK DOWNTURNED FOX EARS GAS FILLED BALLOON ON🗣🙌💯🔥🔥
On all seriousness though, you tried your hardest to understand atleast half of what she wrote, but so far what you seemed to catch is that she's nowhere near an earth creature. Oh and her name is Yae Miko.
Confusedly glancing at her then at her message, your nerve cells steamed as they tried to figure out what type of emotions you should be feeling in this case. The guuji seemed to be quite entertained by your puzzled face and somewhat judging side eye.
Her actions make you no less confused, as you question why would she harshly tug on your clothes at the most randomest times of the day. Out of nowhere, the pink squishy orb would just sail in the air over to you, and then pinch a spot on your clothed body and pull it with an incomprehensible strength.
Which leads you to chasing her, speeding up after her oddly fast self. With groans and screams you would finally catch up to her and squeeze her annoying ass to smitherins☠.
If you don't react to her antics, she'll keep being even more of an ass and pinch on your skin, hard. So far atleast half of your body now itches and pulsates because of your flying jelly companion.
Other than annoying you, the cherry blossom blob with ears likes to do research. Literally on anything. It ranges from politics, history, culture to bitcoin, nfts and all of the other shady stuff. She doesn't take half of the happening seriously, finding the stupidity of your kind ridiculous.
Oh, and she is going to shove it in your face. Always giggling when you two would watch an educational video on some topic, as if making fun of you. When she would write her opinion on your communication notebook she would always leave a snide remark like "the absurd that your kind ensues never ceases to humour me" or some shit.
She really just makes fun of your whole existence as if she's superior in any way. You do your best to hold yourself and not slap her into the oblivion. Oh, but she knows you would never do that. She knows.
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Kokomi ♡
“I, Sangonomiya Kokomi, want to greatly express my gratitude towards your actions, human-like creature with a pure soul. Your kindness will always be remembered and appreciated in my heart. Now, as you read this, I shall, as the grand seigneur of Watatsumi affairs, be taken care of by you, as you are in capability to do so. I am one of the descendants of the Sangonomiya clan, and my full form being taken away from me is a major cause of danger for me. I hope you understand my demands, and I hope you will comply with them.”
A lot of confusing words and hard to spell names didn’t stop you from looking at her with puppy eyes and an ‘aww’ escaping your lips. Even though her tone might sounded a bit bossy near the end, your inner mother instincts still kicked in and your heart swore to protect the light globule that looked at you with anticipation.
Her colour pallet reminded you of aqua monsters, something along the lines of mermaids, sirens, and the similar. And you kinda guessed it, since the way your pink and ocean blue pearl like friend gravitated towards water was as if a magnetic pull was in between them.
The funniest thing is that at the first few days she didn’t even know you had water in your house. Modern furniture confused her senses and for a while she thought your biology didn’t require water.
Until one day you came particularly tired home, and the only thing in your mind was the thought of running a warm calming bath with the aroma of your sweet candles. Not noticing your dwarf merblob levitating right after you and watching you turn on the bath faucet, made you jump in your place when she plopped herself in the filling water.
You were about to groan and ask her to get out, up until your gaze fell on the itty-bitty joyous expression that she demonstrated while floating in the lukewarm liquid. With a snort, a small smile followed along with a defeated look. Letting the spheroid bathe instead of you, you contemplated about her otherworldliness.
It all escalated into a degree where she would spend almost all of her time in your bathroom, swimming in your bathtub hours on end. On your knees, with pleas and begging, you would query her to get out of the pear shaped tank, but to no avail, the deep sea creature would just ignore your whines and continue flowing around in the water.
“Komi please, I haven’t bathed in a decade.”
“Splash. Blub blub blub.”
And there she goes again, making bubbles and blowing them at your face as a response. Even so, you still let the marine pearl have her way, as she’s way too adorable to be mad at.
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Kazuha ♥︎
“Come driving rain or winds that churn, I shall return, by blade alone, armed, if barefoot, to my home... I am Kaedehara Kazuha, a wanderer who roams the land. Fate alone has destined us to meet, thus it is a great gift for us to be able to communicate, distinctive individual. May I put a question to your origins, your story, and your name?”
What is he, a poet of some sorts? Such a distinguished gentleman, saying such extravagant things, but looking so ridiculous it could kill a person.
Guessing was probably your only best talent, as this japanese flag jello was immaculately successful at using all of the paper and stationary that he could find in your house to make his pieces of art.
Or the “haikus” as he calls them. Paper scrolls all over any hard surface, fully scribbled over with elegant handwriting. You wonder how the heck can a round strawberry marshmallow with nibs instead of hands write so much and also write prettier than you could ever manage.
Reading through those is one embarrassing of a trip as more than 70% of the writings are about you. The other 30% are about the environment, the furniture, the nature, the textures and sometimes about his homeland as you assumed.
And no you definitely didn’t bawl your eyes out while reading those and no you certainly didn’t feel sorry for the tiny little guy and no you for sure didn’t hug him in the most gentlest way and promise him that you’ll somehow get him back, no, beyond any doubt that didn’t happen.
On another note, this guy was unquestionably the cause of your literature grades significantly improving. Both you and your teacher are raising a brow at how good you instantaneously became at writing essays and other in the sorts. You even caught yourself in the act of speaking flowery, as if your 18th century self out of the blue found themselves in the modern world.
And that’s all thanks to Kazuha, and his litres of poetry inside your house. What’s outside your house though, is his music. Yea, turns out your spherical friend is talented in tunes too.
On one particular morning when you two were in a public garden, choosing an outlying area to have your picnic in, you came across a eerily wholesome phenomenon.
Holding a tree leaf in his itty-bitty arms, he seemed to be performing a tune with the help of the frond. You stared at your pal in awe, mouth wide open as a beautiful melody rang through your ears.
When your homeboy finished his little concert you couldn’t help but clap gleefully and throw wows at his excellent performance. Just how lucky were you to befriend such a talented jelly orb.
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ARGGFDDDDGJSFICGGV IM SORRY FOR BEOMG SOOOO SLOW😭😵😰😓 I’m currently in a middle of a whole makeover of my house so it’s kinda unmotivating for me to do literally anything but no worries, your homegirl will always find a way to deliver🔥🔥🔥🔥
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dxstopiaa · 2 years ago
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Wardrobe Malfunction..
Request: The anemo boys attempting to cool you down on a hot day with their visions, but something goes embarrassingly wrong. How do they react?
I tried making this as gender neutral as i could, but this may be leaning towards afab reader. Also some suggestive parts.
Characters: Xiao, Kazuha, Heizou and Wanderer (i want to try guess his potentially new personality, do note he will be called kunikuzushi, or kuni for short)
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Xiao
• It was well over 30 degrees celsius, Liyue was in its annual heatwave. What was a better way to spend it rather than with your lover?
•The both of you were situated on the top balcony of wangshu inn, as Xiao usually requests to due to the peace and quiet found up there. It was pretty much his sanctuary, if he wasn’t in Jueyun Karst or Mt Hulao, you’d find him here, admiring the scenery in perfect serenity.
•It was becoming unbearable now, desperately fanning yourself with the paperwork you needed to complete in a failed attempt to cool yourself. Wait..why should i bother doing so when my boyfriend can do it for me effortlessly? And with that, a mischievous smirk graced your features, walking over to Xiao, who was currently leaning on the balcony leisurely with his eyes shut, and doing the same yourself.
• ‘Xiao… Can i ask you something?’ You hesitantly asked, prolonging his name intentionally. His eyelids fluttered open, the beauty of his rarely relaxed eyes revealing themselves, glancing over to your form with a raised eyebrow, gesturing you to continue in mild curiosity. You traced your fingers over his gloved hands before tapping his vision lightly, watching it gleam. ‘Could you use Anemo to create a small breeze? Pleasee it’s too hot’ You practically begged him, clinging onto his arm and lying your head on his shoulder.
•He emitted a small huff, explaining how he didn’t want to harm you. ‘I wouldn’t forgive myself if you got hurt, i will not.’ You argued back to him suggesting that what if you got heatstroke? That’s a possible danger too, there’s a risk to everything. Xiao sighed deeply, suggesting how you were troublesome, you both know he didn’t mean it though, pressing the backside of his hand to your forehead, then pinching your cheek, to which you covered in feigned offence.
• A small wind current was summoned, it’s gentle breeze similar to that of a cooling fan. A sigh of relief left you, kissing the temple of your lover gently and then returning to your original position on the balcony, you both indulged yourself in tranquil silence, with the occasional conversation between you.
•You would say this was composure was lost when Xiao turned his head towards you to ask you something when he noticed a error in your clothing choice, you hadn’t realised yet. The zip on your shirt had become undone on the front, exposing your chest to him. His choked back a gasp in the form of a cough, furious blush dispersed across his face as he tried to look down, avoiding your confused scrutiny.
•‘Xiao? What’s wrong?’ You questioned him, fingers brushing the downcast hair from his face, looking down at him suspiciously. He abruptly stood straight, regaining what was left of his equanimity. He made you face him by clasping your shoulders, then tilting your chin down to bring light into the situation. Oh, that’s why he’s acting so.
•You hastily pulled the zip up, embarrassment filling your features. A small chuckle sounded from Xiao. ‘You have no respect for the adepti, dear.’ Before he vanished, assumingly back to your shared room. Guess he was right, ‘Harm’ was done.
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Kazuha
•Being aboard The Alcor on a blistering hot day should of meant catching the breeze of the oceans as the clouds provided you shelter from the sun’s rays. However this was not the case, instead, merciless beams of sunlight and radiation accompanied with the painfully still waters and air was a pirate’s nightmare come true. Agitated curses escaped a certain captain’s mouth, understandably.
• You and kazuha decided to take shelter in the small accommodations within the lower region of the ship, merely protected by planks of wood. Nothing could soothe the heat though, lying on the double bed restlessly whilst your lover sat at the desk engaging in conversation with you. Fans obviously were not doing much, just circulating the same air resulting in no change. At that moment, you had an idea.
•’Kazu, do you think you could use anemo to generate a wind current?’ You asked, facing him expectedly, he hummed lightly in consideration, his hands holding his chin in thought. ‘I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try?’ Kazuha replied at last, although it seemed more of a rhetorical question than a response. He stood up from the desk he was seated at, where he previously scribbled new haikus he’d secretly send to you, although he’d never let you know that prior to giving it in a stamped envelope.
•Lying down on the bed, next to you, he held his palm out, generating some sort of wind cyclone, except it was spiralling outwards rather than inwards, much to your gratitude. The refreshing change of climate was much more relaxing thankfully, finally being able to rest your head upon your arms, hair blowing various different directions. Kazuha quietly snickered at your current alleviation, you looked so peaceful it was almost uncharacteristic.
• Unbeknownst to you both however, without constant maintenance, this cyclone would gradually become stronger, like a typhoon upon warm waters, and so did its suction. Loose fitting shirts were not appreciated in this scenario, which you quickly learnt as you were practically ridden of your own, dissipating into the abyss as the cyclone decided it was satisfied with its catch and vanished.
•If you weren’t overheating before, you certainly were now, heat rushing to your face as Kazuha gasped loudly. His mouth spewed a string of rather panicked and shameful apologies at the change of situation, abruptly standing up, with his innovative idea to ask Beidou for an extra shirt, talk about naive? He locked the door behind him, hearing hushed giggles from behind the door. So much for being sorry.
•Shortly after, a knock resonated throughout the room, to which you answered with a curt ‘come in’. The captain seemed very amused, half-smirk covering her features. ‘Jeez, to think i thought of him as gentle, Next time tell Mr. Kaedahara to be more careful okay?’ She sniggered sarcastically as she watched you bury your face in your hands.
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Heizou
•Does the police station not favour the comfort of their employees and clients? Because it was intolerably warm today yet no cooling system was, or has ever, been implemented. Heizou quickly grew exhausted from the conditions despite his burning determination, like the weather. Rubbing his temples with his index fingers for some sort of relief to the blistering headache.
•By the Archon’s blessing, you came into the station to check up on your dearest, containers of chilled noodles and refreshing drinks within a bag, which was resting upon your shoulder. A loud sigh sounded from you, slumping into the nearby chair after placing the somewhat heavy luggage on Heizou’s desk. The way his eyes lit up in such a childlike manner made you chuckle to yourself, squeezing his face with the tips of your fingers.
‘Thank the shogun you graced me with your presence, don’t think i would of lasted in this office any longer!’ Heizou exclaimed, resting his elbows on the desk as he leaned forward to reciprocate your affectionate action. ‘I can see that much, detective.’ You replied, unpacking the food you brought, rightfully helping yourself alongside your boyfriend, twirling the noodles with the chopsticks.
• The effects of the heatwave were quite unpleasant, slurring the thoughts from your brain. Pacing over to open the windows and doors slightly, leaving the blinds closed as to not stream in extra heat. Upon glancing down at his seated form, the turquoise glow of his vision gave you an idea..
•’Love..Why don’t you use your vision to get some air circulating in here?’ He stared at you like a thief caught in broad daylight. He lightly hit his forehead with his palm, seemingly disappointed in himself. ‘How did i not think of that earlier? Weather is really taking a toll on me, huh?’ He sighed in disbelief, spinning his chopsticks in this fingers, placing them onto the plate.
• He raised his fist, conjuring a current of gales shortly after, remaining in its position as an creative attempt at an air conditioner, which became even more functional when you removed an ice cube from your drink and balanced on the stool to have the miniature cyclone engulf it for a cooling effect. You shot Heizou a mischevious grin, only in a teasing way of course.
•Though your triumph was only temporary as you unfortunately stood on your floor-length dress, tearing it when you returned to your initial position. You could of sworn that was an intentional gimmick performed by a cheeky man but doubting him was not going to give you a solution. ‘Or that could work to cool you down too, although not as ethical in a working atmosphere.’ Heizou declared, deliberately taking the piss, obviously back to his regular self.
•You had to restrain yourself with the force of a dozen soldiers to not lovingly strangle him at that moment, cowering in your own embarrassment. Although you couldn’t deny this was sort of amusing. ‘It wasn’t me, i swear!’
•Yes, Heizou did do that on purpose, how dare his significant other try and outsmart him rather than patronise him for his rather annoying tricks.
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Wanderer
•Botanical studies? Since when was Kuni interested in such subjects? Well Recently.
•You both traversed the luscious forests of Sumeru, collecting samples of foliage, flora and potentially even insects if you could. Though you reprimanded his poor choice of scheduling. Why would somebody subject themselves to exploration on such a sultry day? That was a question you would never know the answer to from your lover, who dismissed your complaints with phrases such as..
•’Hurry up, It’s getting late.’ Kunikuzushi chided, rebalancing his headwear, quite amused, as he watched you lean under the secure shelter of a tree tiredly. To which you shot a glare at, mumbling incoherent words out of lighthearted irritation. Or..
• ‘As much as i love you, i don’t appreciate the slacking.’ He teased, watching your fascination drop when his words were processed, deadpanning as you sighed and jogged after him, revelling in the shade of his kasa hat. Whenever he’d get too snarky, you pinched him on his arm, exerting a agitated disapproval.
•’Fine, i suppose a rest is due, come with me.’ He sarcastically stated, gesturing you to a local tree, it’s leaves draping down like a circular curtain, swaying and rustling gently. Archons, about time.
•You leaned into his shoulder, one of his arms draped around your neck, caressing your biceps, the other resting upon his knee. Despite your apparent bickering, you both loved each other dearly, demonstrating your infatuation in different ways.
•Although unexpected, acts of services was how he demonstrated his. He observed the sweat beading on your forehead and your rather distressed features, what would be a better time to display it other than now? Kuni summoned a draught of flowing air, directing it towards you in a way which looked most comfortable. A small smile decorated your face, one which made even the most heartless of puppets warm.
•This comforting scene however was not kept like this for as long as you had liked, as your distasteful choice of a frontal-exposing garment spurred on quite the consequences, more so your own shame. Kunikuzushi was the first to take note, trying to hide his flustered state with that of a slightly ridiculing demeanour.
•’ I didn’t know you opted for this type of intimacy with me in public, are you sure?’ He snickered, tilting your head down with his fingers before any perplexed questions could leave your lips. Once you noticed, the gasp you omitted was compared to that of a reaction to a complete felony.
•’Kuni!’ You shrieked, hitting him firmly with the folding fan you were holding in the sheer feeling of dishonour and embarrassment. Burying your face into the sleeves of his kimono while he ludicrously cackled in utter amusement.
•’The offer still stands, love.’ He added amidst fits of laughter.
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zephestia · 1 year ago
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ch. 6 — imagine that
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a shikanoin heizou smau
shikanoin heizou; the top student of teyvat university's criminology major, a member of the student body organization, and the drummer of an infamous band called "6reeze" is head over heels for you—a burnt out chemical engineering major who's socially awkward.
note: ignore date and timestamps. comment on the masterlist to be added to the taglist.
taglist — @the-dumber-scaramouche @lunavixia @astolary @moriiartt @duckyyyx @demonqueen785 @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @bubiblossom @wonderland-fan @aeongiies @danhenglovebot @ahnneyong @cooldudejorts @empathum @kamikokii @starryshores @slvdsjjk @xiaossocksniffer @gekkow @albedos-world @bananasquash @miko1ly @eutopiastar @elernity @goodthingimsam @livinglovingtrainwreck @sunnyskiesv2 @rinsie @yuuichilover @lylovw @anastaxiah @kunikya @saoiirsee @h3xi2g0n3 @evilenchantresss @valeriele3 @siasseltzers @sukunasrealgf
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azaliyas · 2 years ago
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okay so my dear readers and fellow genshin fics enjoyers, i got an idea for a full fic where y/n is a menace- like, they even make SCARAMOUCHE seem like a calm and not at all bratty little 💩 but i don't know with which genshin character i should pair it 😶
so, thing is, i will leave a poll for you guys gals and non-binary pals to choose, then i will publish another with the names of the characters that got the most votes and see who will become y/n's victim LMAO
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nightismyhaven · 1 year ago
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Okay hear me out...
Lyney x Heizou
Both are kinda flirty and charming in their own ways. A magician and a detective, one that creates mysteries and illusions and the other seeks mysteries and solves illusions. However their potential doesn't stop there.
SPOILERS FOR HEIZOU HANGOUT/VISION STORY AND 4.0 ARCHON QUEST
Alright so during the archon quest Lyney hid the fact that he was from the fatui from the traveller which led the traveller in being hurt as he already saw Lyney as a friend. Someone lying about what they do to preserve the friendship that they had made. Sounds familiar? Because it is. In Heizou's vision story it was mentioned that he once met a friend and that friend would always share with him toys and other such things that seems out of place to the way his friend always look ragged and dirty, so he confronted his friend who turns out to be a thief. Heizou just like Aether felt betrayed and got angry (read Heizou vision story for more).
Anyway my point is if Heizou got to meet Lyney this would have been great angst material.
Next is the fact that Heizou is not stranger to lying himself. During his hangout we could see him omitting truths so you could say that in a way Heizou would have understood Lyney.
And that, ladies and gentlemen is why I think they are a good ship
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visionkept · 11 months ago
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❝ Inazuma's thunderstorms this, Inazuma's yokais that ━━ C'mon people, I just saw someone from FONTAINE shoot from her UMBRELLA like a gun before firing FOUR CANNONS at a tiny SLIME. We clearly are not the CRAZY ONES here. ❞
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narcoticwriter · 2 years ago
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In the very specific True Crime Podcast AU I have in my head, Heizou, Shinobu, and Yanfei have a week-long content bash ranging from July 24th-July 28th and it's because their birthdays (24, 27, and 28) all line up for those days and it would be throughout the week.
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erabundus · 2 years ago
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what  if  he  tells  kazuha  the  detective  passed  away  under  MYSTERIOUS  CIRCUMSTANCES?  he took a nap in a shallow puddle ... or a  boulder  fell  from  the  sky  and  crushed  him  like  an  ant.  he  can't  be  held  accountable  for  that,  now  can  he?
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zephestia · 1 year ago
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ch. 4 — not very bros before hoes
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BE MINE — MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT
a shikanoin heizou smau
shikanoin heizou; the top student of teyvat university's criminology major, a member of the student body organization, and the drummer of an infamous band called "6reeze" is head over heels for you—a burnt out chemical engineering major who's socially awkward.
note: another update cuz why not (it's 3am and i haven't sleep). comment only on the masterlist of this series to be added to the taglist.
taglist — @the-dumber-scaramouche @lunavixia @astolary @moriiartt @duckyyyx @demonqueen785 @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @bubiblossom @wonderland-fan @aeongiies @danhenglovebot @ahnneyong @cooldudejorts @empathum @kamikokii @starryshores @slvdsjjk @xiaossocksniffer @gekkow @albedos-world @bananasquash @miko1ly @eutopiastar
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